MARCH'S TOP POST

Your votes are in and we're pleased to announce the most popular post for March. Click here.

Keep your ears open and keep those submissions coming.

Yours in eavesdropping,
Saskatoon Guy

Don't talk to strangers!

OK, today we make an exception. The following was overheard in Regina, but because Saskboy is a loyal reader, we'll bend the rules and pass along his submission.

A couple (let's call them Cliff and Mary for the sake of easy identification) meets a stranger on the sidewalk outside an apartment building . . .

Mary to male stranger: Hi!

Male stranger: Hello!

Cliff to Mary: You're going to get stabbed. This is Regina. I've seen stabbings . . .

What's the rush?

Overheard at the airport . . .

Woman: Where are they?

Man: They just left the house.

Woman: What?

Man: I told you, she's never been on time a day in her life. She was late for her birth. I talked to her mom and she said she had to be induced.

Worth the read

An elderly lady is sitting next to a young man on the bus:

Old lady: If there's one thing I believe, it's that we have to fix the healthcare system. My parents were never in the hospital a day in their lives. My father had some liniment — I don't know if it was Watkins Liniment or not — and you could just put it on your joints if they hurt. You could drink it, too. That's what we need, is something like that that cures everything. There's just no excuse today for anyone to be sick, with all the knowledge that we have. But people are lazy and stupid. It's a little harder to be smart than stupid, but it's so worth it. But people eat things that would make a dog sick. Are you married?

Young man shakes his head no.

Old lady: Well, when you get married, you'll find that the first couple of meals that your wife makes will be a little tough to swallow, but you'll get used to it.

— Overheard by scheherezhade. Check out her blog here. Good job, scheherezhade! Way to hang in there for a good story! Thanks for sharing.

Fun with palindromes

Overheard at the north-end Husky . . .

Trucker to clerk: Hey, Anna, your name is the same backwards.

Clerk: Uh-huh.

Trucker: Hey, look on the bright side . . . at least you're not named Lana.

We win! Gimme that sheep.

Overheard at the Roastery . . .

ESL teacher to two students: When the French and the Germans were fighting wars all the time, they needed a way to communicate. They'd say, "OK, you can have this sheep and these goats and this land." And that's where English came from.

And all this time I haven't had a bulletproof vest

Overheard at the Roastery . . .

Teen girl: Saskatoon is like the most dangerous city in Canada. And like third in the world!

Teen guy: No, it's ninth in the world. I read the list.

Teen girl: Baghdad is like right ahead of us!

Sizing up the situation

Overheard by CCM at a house . . .

One friend to another: All the bang and kapow and you still don't have the implants!! . . . . Well, f**k you then!!

THERE'S the beef!

Overheard by CCM during a "once-a-month" cooking club. A vegetarian woman opens the fridge freezer to an explosion of its contents . . .

Woman: I'm in the middle of a meat avalanche and neither of you care because you're both hopped up on ludes!

Necrophilic sex appeal?

"Why do they call them the Pussycat Dolls? (emphasis on plural) One of them sings and the other four stand around like zombies. It's like Night of the Living Dead!"

— Nutana Cafe worker

Crushin' on Robbie Robertson

Middle-aged couple on a first date at a café . . .

Man: We wanted to go see the band.

Woman: THE Band?

Man (laughing): No, the band that was playing. I don't think 'The Band' has ever been here.

Think he'll live to see it?

Overheard at Credit Union Centre . . .

Forty-ish guy: I waited 31 years for Green Bay to win a championship. When the Leafs finally win, it's going to be a three-week party. Hutterites might go into hiding.

Family reunions are feisty

Overheard at the Shark Club during the UFC pay-per-view. Two competitors are cautiously feeling each other out, much to the chagrin of the crowd.

Drunk guy: I've seen my fat cousins show more aggression in a waltz at an anniversary because they both wanted to lead!

Spock was nowhere to be seen

A group of people is waiting for the elevator at Credit Union Centre . . .

Impatient guy: Are you kidding me? They beamed Captain Kirk back from the Prison Planet faster than this!

Anger management, anyone?

Three women are discussing cellphone options over lunch at Nutana Cafe:

Woman 1: What are your top three things? Do you want to get your e-mail . . . do you just wanna make phone calls . . .

Woman 2: Or do you want one shaped like a bat so you can hit people?!

Romancing the stoner

Teenage girl at Roastery: Remember that time behind Buds when Mr. Smith* took a hit of our weed? Then he said, "I'll give you a ride home." I was like, "Oh, it's all right. I'll walk," because it was like 20 minutes or whatever. But he was like, "I insist." So he gave me a ride home and he put on this Elton John song. It was really inappropriate.

(*Not his real name)

WE HAVE A TIE!

Based on your votes, the most popular posts for February are this one and also this one.

Thanks for your votes! Now keep your ears open and submit your own!