The STARE masters

Attractive girl walks by in tight shirt and lululemon pants . . .

Biker 1: I wanna be 20 again. Where were those girls hiding when I was 20? It must be all the chemicals in the food or something. Pretty soon there won't be an ugly girl in the world.

Biker 2: Do you think your missus will ever find someone else?

Biker 1: I don't give a fuck.

"And then . . . and then . . ."

Overheard by Coolio in a women's bathroom in Chamberlain . . .

Woman in stall with a chatty kid: "OK, buddy, but right now you've got to concentrate on pooping. Hurry up."

Make up your mind, sexy-voiced lady

Overheard on Rock 102 . . .

Deejay Alexis on Wednesday:

" . . . still my favourite band of all-time, that's Theory of a Deadman."

Deejay Alexis on Friday:

" . . . in the last year, those guys have probably become my favourite band of all-time — Kings of Leon!"

White trash would never do that!

Overheard on a patio . . .

Guy 1: "What happened to that frame in your yard?"

Guy 2: "The white trash called the city on me. I might look white trash, I guess. [*Trucker hat, collared cowboy shirt] Anyway, I wanted to use that frame to build a big mud-bogging thing."

Guilty until proven innocent

Overheard by Coolio by at the courthouse . . .

After going through the courthouse metal detector, a woman says: "What are they going to ask me to do next? Bend over and cough?"

This ain't Jax, ladies!

Overheard at the Broadway Roastery, two attractive women discussing life in Las Vegas . . .

Woman: "I was wearing this little, short skirt. Thought I was just hoochin' it up. Then I walk in there (The Belagio) and I look like grandma!"

"We can't do this," he said. "I'm not ready."

Overheard at Mystic Java . . .

Guy 1: "Yeah, so that's the girl who tried to take my yoga virginity."

Guy 2: "My sister took mine. Oh, that sounds bad."