Crushin' on Robbie Robertson

Middle-aged couple on a first date at a café . . .

Man: We wanted to go see the band.

Woman: THE Band?

Man (laughing): No, the band that was playing. I don't think 'The Band' has ever been here.

Think he'll live to see it?

Overheard at Credit Union Centre . . .

Forty-ish guy: I waited 31 years for Green Bay to win a championship. When the Leafs finally win, it's going to be a three-week party. Hutterites might go into hiding.

Family reunions are feisty

Overheard at the Shark Club during the UFC pay-per-view. Two competitors are cautiously feeling each other out, much to the chagrin of the crowd.

Drunk guy: I've seen my fat cousins show more aggression in a waltz at an anniversary because they both wanted to lead!

Spock was nowhere to be seen

A group of people is waiting for the elevator at Credit Union Centre . . .

Impatient guy: Are you kidding me? They beamed Captain Kirk back from the Prison Planet faster than this!

Anger management, anyone?

Three women are discussing cellphone options over lunch at Nutana Cafe:

Woman 1: What are your top three things? Do you want to get your e-mail . . . do you just wanna make phone calls . . .

Woman 2: Or do you want one shaped like a bat so you can hit people?!

Romancing the stoner

Teenage girl at Roastery: Remember that time behind Buds when Mr. Smith* took a hit of our weed? Then he said, "I'll give you a ride home." I was like, "Oh, it's all right. I'll walk," because it was like 20 minutes or whatever. But he was like, "I insist." So he gave me a ride home and he put on this Elton John song. It was really inappropriate.

(*Not his real name)

WE HAVE A TIE!

Based on your votes, the most popular posts for February are this one and also this one.

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